Farily regularly I receive correspondence from a local car dealer. They plead with me to bring in my vehicle. They are desperate, they say, for vehicles of exactly the year and make of what I drive. They need it to satisfy increased market demand and they will buy my vehicle at a very aggressive price. And, the postscript says that I will receive a FREE GIFT simply for bringing in the mailed, desperate request.
I have a few questions.
First, what is an aggressive price? Is it going to snarl at me? Then, what increased market demand? Just how many people are there who want a 10-year old SUV with a broken CD player, an SUV that requires premium gas? And why are all these people congregating at this car dealership?
(The CD player broke the week after the warranty ran out. I took it in to a non-dealer car radio repair business and they couldn’t fix it. The radio brand is a four-letter word and they don’t show or say their prices on their radio or TV commercials. When I researched the CD problem on the web, there were lots of people with the same problem with this same radio/CD model. Oh, dear.)
If I would only give this desperate dealer 20 minutes — 20 minutes, no more, no less — they will work with me to establish the value of my vehicle. Then I have three options. (Oh, I like the sound of this. Three is a prime number, very lucky.) I can:
(1) Take the cash. The very aggressive cash. Does it need a muzzle? Will they really give me cash? Maybe they mean that I get to take home a relative of Johnny Cash.
(2) Trade for a new or pre-owned vehicle. But I already have a pre-owned vehicle — mine. I hope they aren’t planning on selling it back to me minutes after I trade it in.
(3) Walk away. Now this one is odd. If I don’t take the cash and I don’t trade in my vehicle, why do I have to walk away? Can’t I drive away? I still own the same vehicle that I arrived in. Is the aggressive cash guarding it, keeping me away from it?
And remember, as long as I bring in the mailed request, I get a FREE GIFT. If I don’t bring in the mailed request, do I have to pay for the gift? Aren’t gifts inherently free?
Now, I want to be fair to this desperate dealer. In reality, it would take probably less than 20 minutes of sitting in a new vehicle for me to get the new car fever. That’s why I’m staying home.